Jada Pinkett Smith: “We Don’t Have Rules”

Jada Pinkett Smith says that she and her husband Will Smith don’t set and enforce rules for their children Jaden, 12, and Willow, 10. The power couple prefer instead to negotiate with the kids, dealing with situations as they arise.

“We don’t have rules. We come up with agreements,” Jada explains to Style magazine. “Kids are little people, and we’re in life to guide them. Trying to rule someone is always an illusion, and it’s no different with children.”

The HawthoRNe star gives a recent example that came up when ‘Whip My Hair’ singer Willow signed up at a social networking site – against mom’s wishes.

“I told her not to, so I was so mad. I said, ‘What do you think I should do now?’ So Willow said, ‘Mom, take my computer away.’ And I said, ‘How long for?’ She said a month.

So it’s negotiations. I’m not saying it’s always perfect. I have my bloops and my blunders. But I’m doing my best.”

Filed under: Jada Pinkett-Smith

Photo credit: Fame

  • dholmas

    I wonder what those kids are going to be like in 10 years. Spoiled with no dicipline and a huge overblown ego.

    • Anonymous

      Well said!!

  • Anon

    Oh yes, here come all the hateful comments.

    Guys, don’t you ever tire of making fun of these kids? Grow up and do something productive or positive.

  • Heart

    This can work in some situations, but not all. I believe in boudaries. This doesn’t work for everyone. They have a totally different type of lifestyle and may not come in contact with situations that every day children come in contact with. Remember, these are the same parents that can take off months at a time and travel the world. Most parents work a 9-5 and the NEED to monitor their children because of outside influences are so high, that they can’t afford to just let the kids be as open as the Smiths are with their kids. If it works for them, GREAT! But I am old fashioned and will give my kids options when I feel they are ready for them.

  • layla

    Oh yes, here come all the hateful comments. Why are you here anon?
    Anyways Will and Jada needs to set rules for Willow and Jaden. Children need rules. Otherwise they will be spoiled and troubled when they are older.

  • Anna

    Let the hateful comments begin.Before you guys bash them for not having rules.They have boundaries!It’s fine. Parents don’t need to punish and spank kids now to teach them a lesson.I think WIll and JAda are great parents and people should STOP WORRYING ABOUT THEIR KIDS AND ABOUT YOURS!

  • Destiny

    Willow is 10 years old for starters why does a 10 year old have her OWN PERSONAL LAPTOP!?Pssh big deal I bet as soon as Willow gave up her laptop, she probably went straight to her iPhones or Blackberrys and created a FB.ALL CHILDREN NEED RULES!

  • Heart

    Oh my! LOL @ people coming in a BLOG talking about hateful comments. So far, I haven’t seen anything hateful. Just people stating their opinions. Some people don’t like to eat meat, some do. Because there is a difference in opinion makes people hateful????? Wow! We all should know what comments are hateful and which ones are just giving their two-cents.

  • Rebecca

    I was soooo shocked when I read the headline. Why do they keep saying these things?

  • Tazina

    I’ve seen these kids on talk shows and it is evident they are polite, well mannered and ambitious. Take it easy….they’re not your kids to have to worry about. They are being raised just fine…..focus on the problems in your own lives and relax.

  • Amy

    Anna do you know what rules are because having rules have nothing to do with punish and spanking example you have to be home at a certain time, no swearing or your homework has to be done before you go play. Will and Jada are scientologist nothing they do shocks me anymore they don’t believe in saying no or setting rules it like being your kids friend instead of their parent it never ends will.

  • Belinda Barnacle

    Scientologist are crazy. These people are carnies starring in their own sideshow.

  • Abby

    In all honesty, if you get mad at your kids and they themselves volunteer to have you take their computer away for a month, then you’re doing something RIGHT.

    I think the haters are really just hating on the fact that this doesn’t work for them or their family. It won’t work for everyone, as someone already said, but it’s NO ONE’S business to ever tell a parent how to raise their kid, if that kid isn’t knocking back liquor behind the bleachers on the playground or kicking schoolmates in the face.

    Just seems like if moms aren’t judging someone else’s parenting skills/strategies, there’s no validation towards their own work as a mom. Sad. Sickening. Maybe if we stopped pointing fingers and making judgments we’d feel more confident about our own family strength and the paths in which our kids were taking in their lives and not feel a need to claim to know what’s best for other people’s children.

    • Estoria

      Lol You are funny. You are making your own judgement and criticizing others for doing the same. That really doesn’t make sense, now does it?!?! As for her handing over a laptop, well that isn’t because you are doing something right. That is because the child is SMARTER than you give credit for. They probably have some thing much more valuable that they DON’T want to give up so they offer up the laptop instead. That is called being smart but it is the parent’s job to be smarter yet. I would not fall for that! If a child handed that over to me then I would be wondering exactly what was going on.

      You say it is no one’s business to tell anyone how to raise someone else’s child. I don’t see any of that on here. I see people expressing their opinions and honestly do you think either Jada or Will are on here reading this and getting up in arms about it?!?! I am sure they have much better things to do with their time than worrying about some people making comments about them on here. Get off your soapbox and stop calling people haters just because they have a different opinion than you do! That is after all why this website gives you the option to COMMENT.

  • Anonymous

    the more they open their mouths, the more I believe thy practice Scientology!

  • Jolene

    Yes, we can see that, Jada.

  • Kim

    Maybe instead of taking away her computer for a month Jada should have made her study her math because Willow herself said the she is behind but then I guess that would mean time away from her make music which seems more important to Jada. Let’s be honest what kids is going to voluntary give up something unless what their give up wasn’t that imported them and no kid is that good Pinkett Smith kids included because if she was she would not have done what she did to get herself in troubled to begin with.

    • Victoria

      Exactly Kim!! Say it again, no kid is going to voluntarily give up their laptop, because no kid is that good. People need to remember to think like when we were children, if we volunteer to give something up it’s most likely because a.) It’s not that important to us b.) We have means of other means of getting access to what we want, or c.) We want to offer up something less important before our parents think up something more important to us to take away for a month.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know what Jada is taking about adult have rules too in work place for one example I wish I can tell my boss I thought we had an agreements and you can have my compute for a mouth please.

  • Murray

    Where you can go along with world trends on ===^_^( http://www.Mygoodbag.com )^_^=======.There are so many fashion items you need and all the big brand you love.

    Like: Louis Vuitton Chanel Gucci Burberry Chloe Hermes Prada Fendi etc.

  • Carey

    Rich and Famus do not need rules or boundaries. When you have money and fame all the doors and windows are open for you. That’s why we poor stupid folks go crazy and write comments on internet. If we had what the Smiths have we all would be having fun, no rules or boundaries.
    Why these kids should study? They already know what they want to do in life and already doing what they want (movies and music) there’s no need to study to work in these areas, they don’t want to do anything else so education isn’t needed.
    One thing is for sure they will never need to do any real work in life and hard work will be something that don’t exist. They’re lucky. You folks should be honest and declare your pure jealousy. Thinking better, I don’t think people who work hard have time to waste on internet so you folks are lazy like me.

  • Anonymous

    If I see this stupid outfit one more time…I’ll go crazy!!!

  • Anonymous

    I see their Scientology beliefs at work. That’s why Suri gets to wear heels whenever she wants, since she’s a little adult. In the real world, everyone has rules and boundaries, including adults. I think what they are doing is going to bite them in the rear once their kids are older.

  • Anonymous123

    Are you $#%^$(^ kidding me?? This family just needs to go away! SHUT UP!

  • Cabos

    If this was Angelina Jolie talking, most of you would be praising her and saying how great of a parent she is.

  • Anonymous

    Cabos I a big Angelina Jolie fan and if it was Angelina says it people would be saying the same thing they’re say now but worse.

  • Anonymous

    “if it was Angelina says it people would be saying the same thing they’re say now but worse”


  • Anonymous

    Look at those poor children, what the HECK are they wearing?! They’re *children*, not fashion models. Urgh. Talk about how NOT to bring up children. Disgraceful.

  • JMO

    I wonder if that is Katie Holmes method of parenting.

    Suri darling you just broke mommy’s diamond watch that cost mommy $3,000 now what should we do about that?
    I don’t know mommy, if you had bought me one we wouldn’t be having this conversation, now would we?!

  • kathy

    Honestly, I actually do something similar to my son when he needs a form of discipline – He doesn’t have a laptop of his own, or other expensive things like the Smith Children do, so it doesn’t come down to material things. But first off, I think it is in how you raise your child. I have always used discipline when needed, and yes he got a hand across his butt a few times as a toddler, but probably not since he was 2 – and even then it was just one little smack – you don’t have to beat your children into submission. After he realized what it meant when I held my hand up and said “do you understand ” he would stop doing what ever he shouldn’t be doing. But now as a teenager, when we have a disagreement or something that needs adult attention, we do talk about it – I don’t hit, I don’t curse or yell. I ask first off, does he understand what he did and why it was wrong or against rules (depending on what the problem is). After he “gets it”, then I ask him what plans do you have for the rest of the week. I then decide which one he WONT be doing. And if he conveniently leaves one out, or “something” comes up, like a party, at the last minute, he is not allowed to do either of the two things. That way, I know he is not offering something up to get to do something better. I stay in control. He tried it once, and thats when he learned there would be “2” things he didnt’ get to do for the punishment. I don’t take away his phone or games because that makes kids miserable, which in turn makes the adult miserable. So while I do something similar, I don’t let them do the “offering” of punishment, I just ask for a list of things he has plans and I choose. But I will say, there are times when he has been grounded for a weekend, or a week, but very few times, for something that warrented the punishment. With all of the things kids have now days, and the freedoms they have received over the years, you do have to treat your children like an adult. 6 and 7 year olds have phones, tweens have TV’s, laptops, phones, gaming systems in their own rooms, and teenagers have those things, plus cars, and are allowed to go out on school nights, stay out way later than I ever was. With all of the material things they have, you almost do have to negotiate just like you would with an adult. As a society, on the whole, we give our kids too much and don’t make them work for it and they have no appreciation for what they have. And yes kids from rich parents are the exception; I think they buy them what they want to make up for not being around most of the time. I thought we were rich when my parents bought their first tv in 1959 (i was 4) – can you image ever feeling that way again over something as simple as a TV!! I do believe kids need discipline, but it has to be based on how YOU raise your kids. My son just turned 16, honor roll student, ROTC, drill team, color guard, track, a girlfriend and has managed to stay a great kid. He is not forced to participate in sports and is told grades comes first; he has missed a few ROTC competitions due to needing to do homework. His life is balanced with just enough of “everything” he wants to do but knows he is responsible for keeping the balance. I am just there to straighten him up when he tilts!

  • kayla from uptown philly !

    U all know she dosen’t set boundaries for them if u ever heard the lyrics in Willow’s new song 21st century girl.

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