It’s been a long, bumpy road to recovery for Teen Mom star Amber Portwood. Less than two months after checking out of rehab following a suicide attempt, the young mom was once again rushed to the hospital due to a severe panic attack. And although she denies having a drinking problem and says that she’s been regularly taking medication to treat her depression, Amber reveals to E! News that she still thinks about taking her own life.
“Honestly, I feel like I did two months ago. I’m still suicidal,” says Portwood, pointing to tabloid “lies” about her party-girl lifestyle and people – even her own brother – questioning the love she has for her daughter, Leah, 2, as the kind of “bullying” that contributes to her depression. Despite what’s being reported, Amber insists that her decision to temporarily relinquish custody of her child to baby daddy Gary Shirley has absolutely nothing to do with her wanting her “freedom.”
“The only reason I am letting Gary have custody of Leah right now is to keep CPS off our backs,” says Portwood, who’s currently serving probation as the result of a plea deal reached this summer in her felony domestic battery case. “I see Leah whenever I can. I have stipulations as to when I can and can’t see her.”
The reality star may be having issues with her ex and certain members of her family, but there’s at least one relationship in her life that’s seeing some improvement; her relationship with her mother.
“My mom knows everything that’s going on in my life right now and we’re great,” says Portwood.