Gwyneth Paltrow: “I Want To Maintain My Marriage & My Family”

Gwyneth Paltrow graces the cover of Harper’s Bazaar‘s March 2012 edition and opens up about her husband, Coldplay rocker Chris Martin, and their two children Apple, 7, Moses, 5. The 39-year-old actress gets frank about remaining faithful, school runs and her father’s death.

On her husband: “He’s very communicative, which is rare for a British man. If I’m in L.A. for three days working, then my husband does the school run; it’s always one of us.” She adds, “I think you do fall in and out of love and you just keep going, and every time you go through a really difficult phase, you rediscover something new and it just gets better. We’ve been married for more than eight years now, and we’re still into it,” she says. “I have little kids in school. I want to maintain my marriage and my family.”

On saving her clothes for Apple: “I’ve been saving my clothes for her since before she was born. I was like, I’ll bet you anything I’ll have a daughter, and she’ll be a really cool butch lesbian and be so above clothes, and I got a very clothes-obsessed child. So if she’s a lesbian, she’s a lipstick lesbian. She doesn’t like anything avant-garde at all. She likes anything that’s pretty, pretty, pretty or has a bow or a ruffle or is pink.”

On her recent relationship advice to a girlfriend (who remains unnamed): “She is an actress and in a new relationship with someone else with a big career, and I said this may not be feminist, but you have to compromise. It’s been all about you and you’re a big deal. And if you want what you’re saying you want—a family—you have to be a wife, and that is part of the equation. Gloria Steinem may string me up by my toes, but all I can do is my best, and I can do only what works for me and my family.”

On their nanny and the nighttime routine: “She’s French, so she’s teaching them French, and their previous nanny was Spanish, so they’re fluent in Spanish.” But it’s Gwyneth who gives the children their bath—”we all get into the tub together”—and she’s the one who cooks dinner for them before Apple and Moses go to bed at 8:00.

On remaining faithful: “I had a boyfriend who used to cheat on me all the time. I was quite naive. I knew on a cellular level, but I bought his story.” That said, she does not condemn others who stray. “The older I get, the more open-minded I get, the less judgmental I get. Life is long. I have friends who I love and admire who have had an affair. When I was younger, I would have said he’s a terrible person or she’s a terrible person. But who made these laws?”

On her father’s death: “[I still feel ] the energy of his soul. I don’t think that evaporates. I feel my dad, I still feel his love, and I still love him.” She adds: “I would do anything to have him back, but half the reason that my life is good, has real, true value, is that he died. I would obviously rather have him alive, but he gave me so much in his death. I don’t go back and say I wish he had done this differently, I wish he hadn’t smoked, because the fact is that he did and he died. As much grief and pain and trauma and heartache are caused, there was an equal amount of positivity that came out of his death.”

Continue reading the interview with Gwyneth at Harper’s Bazaar

Filed under: Gwyneth Paltrow

Photo credit: Harper's Bazaar


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  1. Andrea

    Her honesty is refreshing. She’s pretty much confirming the rumors that Chris Martin have cheated on her, no?

  2. Anonymous

    Why did she think her daughter was going to be a butch lesbian?

  3. anon

    old boyfriend who is a cheater.. brad or ben? that is a tough one! i’m leaning towards brad.. once a cheater, always a cheater!

  4. Flowergiirl

    I am surprised to admit this, but after years of disliking her, I find Gwyneth quite likeable here. She still comes off a tad preachy but I do appreciate her candor.

  5. Anonymous

    What an odd interview, she seems like such a cold person in my opinion.

  6. Ruby

    She says she falls in and out of love with her husband…

    really? If this is true, then they will have major togetherness issues in the future. If it’s not true, then she should use her words more carefully b/c if I were her spouse, it would be a big deal (problem) for my spouse to declare that they fall out of love with me from time to time…

  7. Anonymous

    I hate that she talks about her famous friends’ private issues. She should keep her mouth shut and only talk about herself and family if she must. She also tends to be passive aggressive and has a sense of superiority that I find very unappealing.

  8. jacquie109

    Loving and being truley deeply “in love” are different things. You cant always be cotton candy in love, but you do love. I can see what she means. Things get hectic and sometimes things slip, bringing them back and falling back “in love” is a good part of that.

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