Kristen Bell Felt Disconnected To Daughter During Pregnancy

New mom Kristen Bell covers the December issue of Flare. In the interview (via JustJared), the House of Lies actress opens up about feeling disconnected to her now 7-month-old daughter Lincoln during pregnancy, and the secret to her happy marriage with Dax Shepard.

On feeling disconnected to her baby during pregnancy: “I kept saying to Dax in all sincerity during my pregnancy, ‘I just don’t know how I’m going to like her as much as I like the dogs.’ I was being serious. Because I f–king love my dogs; they are my children. I love people the more I know them, and I didn’t know her. It could’ve been a water bottle in my belly, that’s about how connected I felt to her during my pregnancy. But within about 24 hours after she came out, my hormones reset, and they reprogrammed my feelings about her.”

On how they both grew up in Detroit: “Dax and I would not have been friends in high school. He was a drug addict and he was wild, and I was very much a good girl who went to Catholic school. He is also five years older than I am, and he lived in Milford, which is a bit more drive-your-tractor-to-the-7-eleven-type Michigan, and I was closer to downtown Detroit.”

On secrets to a strong marriage: “Our main rule is: Check your ego at the door, and be aware of when the other person is spinning out. As artists, everything is vanity- and narcissism- driven: my career, the strategy behind it, the next level I want to hit, my photo shoot, how I was in my acting scene, my premiere. So we try to do a really good job of being human beings in the rest of our life.”

Filed under: Kristen Bell

Photo credit: Flare

  • eliz1

    she bugs.. can’t quite put my finger on it why!

    • Dana


  • Jen

    I haven’t had a baby yet, but wow…I’ve never heard anyone say that before. How can you not feel at the very least a little connected to a baby you’re carrying? That seems off to me.

    • Jessica

      It’s completely understandable and totally normal. It’s one big reason why there are women out there who are completely ready to put up their child for adoption right until the moment they are born; sometimes it takes actually seeing and holding your baby to realize how much you could truly love them. Unfortunately, there is also post-partum depression, which is even more common, and it’s lucky she didn’t feel that as well.

  • Someone

    Yeah seems a bit weird to say but who knows what the rest of the interview had to say ya know? I felt a little disconnected at first but once you see the baby on the ultrasound and start to feel baby move, it became very real for me. Both of my boys would kick when I talked to them and that was the most incredible feeling!

    • jessica drechner

      I find that most moms who feel disconnected from their newborn/baby only admit partial truths. I think this is done out of fear and for being labeled unfit etc., and just because it’s taboo. Unlike Kristen, I was partially attached to my child while in the womb, and when I gave birth it went downhill from there, and my feelings of love didn’t come apparent/cemented until my child turned 2 1/2.

      I am the MOST caring/affectionate/loving/passionate person I know -I’ve always wanted children and would look forward to the day of becoming a mother, and when I did become a mother, I didn’t feel that rush of love and nor did I effortlessly roll into the role of being the perfect mother (all though all my life people would swear I was predestined to be the world’s best mom). Please if there are any new mothers out there experiencing what I experienced, know that you aren’t alone and in time things will be as it should be. You DO love your child even if you feel “unsure” or lack confidence with your feelings, the feelings will come rushing over you unexpectedly and your heart will “runneth over”!

      After a time comes a time, and that time is just round the corner! You’re not a bad mother just because your feelings didn’t change “within about 24 hours after she came out, my hormones reset, and they reprogrammed my feelings..” The title of mother is something that is grown into, not just earned in a moment.

      Breastfeeding is marvelous for attachment/bonding. Don’t think twice, just do it!

  • grace

    Wonder why she chose to do an interview with Flare…Seriously, Flare? No one buys that magazine – the only place I ever see it is the dentist office.

    • gisele

      So true! I live in Canada and this magazine is a dog. Kristin — stick to Elle, Vogue, In Style, Marie Claire etc., to increase your visibility.

  • SMH

    I guess your hormones can throw you off but glad she doesn’t feel disconnected now or that would be a little odd. At least she’s honest. I bet there are more women out there that feel that way. Usually those women though go on to feel the same after pregnancy, and sadly leads to them harming their child.

  • Heather

    This is not shocking, I have heard plenty of people say it. It certainly doesnt say anything negative about her as a woman or a mother. Some people just dont bond until the baby is here. I have two kids and I would say I felt bonded to them while pregnant. I hated every minute of pregnancy because i was so sick and it was a nightmare, but of course I love my kids. She doesn’t mean anything horrible by saying that at all. She’s so funny, that’s just how she is.

  • So proud

    So proud of her for being honest. I’m sure there are plenty of women who feel that way and think they’re going to make horrible mothers. Good for her for sharing the truth.

  • jool

    That’s not shocking, but she just sound a little dumb when I read what she says…. Like, REALLY ignorant. She already seemed a little bit immature with the sloth story.

    But you never know, the interview might have been edited and she didn’t sound so weird when she talked

  • Em

    Good for her for being honest with herself! I do hear of other Moms’ just not feeling any loving connection until they see and hold their little one. And sometimes it is connection after the baby. All womens’ hormones act differently. Also, maybe if the pregnancy is unplanned it is harder to see yourself loving such a being. But it isn’t impossible..keep your heads up Mommas’ who feel the same. It DOES get better.

  • english gal

    disconnected *FROM*
    connected *TO*

  • Gemi

    Completely normal.

  • I love Kristen Bell!! I am expecting my first child, (I have the best obgyn in Sugar Land) and I told her that I wasn’t feeling connected to the baby. It was very concerning to me. She told me that was normal and nothing to worry about. I’m sure the first time I see the baby everything is going to change, just like what happened with Kristen.

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