Kelly Rutherford: “I Cry In The Shower”

Gossip Girl alum Kelly Rutherford recently filed an emergency motion in her ongoing custody battle. Prior to that, she covered the latest issue of Hamptons and opened up about her highly publicized legal issues involving her two kids – Hermés, nearly 8, and Helena, 5 – what it’s been like behind closed doors, and how her children have been doing given the current situation.

On how her kids are doing: “They’re good, but they’re getting older so they’re much more outspoken about their feelings on the situation. They think it’s unfair: they’ve basically been told that I should move to France. I say, ‘Well, you guys are US citizens, and mommy’s a US citizen; your dad was living in the US when we got married and before we got married, and none of us are from France.'”

On how she copes with the ugly custody battle: “I cry in the shower. It’s emotional—just them being here and me wanting to keep them here and be with them every day. I have had to stay strong for them; I have to do my best to stay positive. I’m doing my best to keep my kids healthy through this, and that’s what I focus on every day.”

On her kids living in France with a man who has basically been exiled from this country: “Correct. And we still don’t even know why he was exiled from this country. Because he’s a foreigner, he’s actually being treated better, in some ways, than the tax-paying US citizen. Every evaluator said the children should be with me as their pri­mary parent—that was ignored when the kids were sent to France. Since then, I’ve traveled 60 times back and forth.”

On traveling 60 times back and forth between US & France:” Basically everything I make goes to traveling. This is why I started the Children’s Justice Campaign, along with cofounder Patrice Lenowitz. It’s really to educate people about what’s really going on—if you bankrupt the mother before she can appeal and before you send her children to a foreign country, then she’s forced to just focus on trying to figure out how to see her children. To appeal a case like mine, it takes an enormous amount of time, and if there is anything even minimally wrong with the way the appeal is done, they can throw it out. Caring parents go in wanting what’s best for the kids, and are willing to negotiate, [but the way the system has been set up] is not in the best interest of the kids.”

On going from actress to activist being a difficult transition: “It has. To be honest, I’m ready to get back to work. I miss it—[acting] is something that I love; it inspires me. I’m ready to get on another series. It looks like I’m going to be doing a film, which is great. [The activism] has pulled all of my atten­tion away from the life that I have built, in terms of my career, and the things that I love to do, and being a mother. But at the same time, if this is what I’m supposed to do in my life to help other women and other parents, then it’ll be worth it. I’ve always supported children’s organizations and women’s organizations, so it’s certainly aligned with what I believe in.”

For more from Kelly, go to Hamptons


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Photo credit: hamptons


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11 Comments on "Kelly Rutherford: “I Cry In The Shower”"

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This woman just amazes me, “we still don’t even know why he was exiled from this country”. How about you calling immigration and lying about him having guns and drugs. That’s why he was deported. It’s funny how she just forgets those little details, oh wait it’s a really big detail.I mean, she had to admit it in court what she did, but she doesn’t know why he’s not allowed here.


Nobody is exiled from this country because someone accuses them of having guns and drugs.


I remember being a young girl and watching the movie Not Without My Daughter with my Aunt. I knew at that moment that I would never marry or have children with someone from ANY other country. This mess is always a possibility and it’s very sad.


What you say is just ridiculous…There are plenty of responsible parents in this world who do what’s good for their kids!!! What kind of parent take their kids away from the other parent? They’re both idiots not capable of putting their anger aside and be responsible parents! And who will be pay the price for ever? The children!


I’m not sure what you think he did wrong. He isn’t legally allowed in the U.S. So it isn’t like he has an option about coming back. And if she says that travelling there several times a year is bankrupting her, I doubt she’d be able to afford to bring them to France very often (airfare for 3 instead of just 1).

So how do you think he can fix it?


you must know her personally to be so angry…..

Oh Please

I don’t like liars. And I don’t like women who act as if the father child relationship is insignificant. She is guilty of both. She’s not a good enough actress to sell what she’s trying to peddle.


The more she speaks, the more I think the judge did the right thing.


OMG Kelly. Keep digging that hole. Keep going. It’s only gonna ensure the judge keeps the kids with their dad, who hasn’t exploited any of this to the media from day one. The judge wants to know that you’re getting BETTER. this purely proves you haven’t changed.

This isn’t about the kids being US citizens. This is about her not having custody and she’s fighting the sole battle she thinks she can win; because she sure as hell isn’t winning the custody one. I don’t believe a single word that leaves this woman’s mouth.


What she is doing is the epitome of parental alienation. So sad. So repulsive.


Whatever the case may be, children need both parents. Period.