Kelly Rutherford: My Son Has Been Brainwashed

For the first time, Kelly Rutherford opened up about the recent ruling that her young children – son Hermés, 5 , and 3-year-old daughter Helena – must live in France with their father during a Thursday appearance on The View.

The Gossip Girl star said that she saw her children just 10 days ago, and was tearful when recalling what they said to her. “My little girl said ‘I want to come home, mama. I want to come back to New York,’” she said of Helena who is now in the custody of her ex-husband Daniel Giersch.

Wiping away the tears, Kelly added, “My son – who’s kind of been brainwashed that where he is is so much better – but he always says, “Mama, I love you so much.”‘

A Los Angeles judge ruled that the children move to France with their father and she must visit them there.

“I don’t think he would intentionally harm the children,” Kelly said. “But I do think that the children are at risk because I was the primary caregiver and now I’m the visitor. There are a lot of things being said to them every day that aren’t things that kids need to hear.”

The heartbroken mother-of-two, who has vowed to appeal, said she has drained her earnings to pay off legal bills and must keep working to afford the fight.

Complicating matters, Daniel’s visa was revoked earlier this year and he has been banned from entering the U.S. As a result, the exes will continue to have joint legal and physical custody with Kelly having to fly overseas for visitation.

“He could disappear tomorrow and I’d have no way to look,” Kelly said. “My biggest fear is that I wouldn’t know where they are. I just want them to be okay. They’re just little babies. They need a chance to have a consistent life.”

Kelly added that her son’s birthday is in October and she is hoping to be with him on his special day.


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  1. At least she’s getting the publicity she needs to draw attention to the cause — e.g. Good Morning America, The View, various news outlets…. I doubt it would be as easy if she didn’t have these media connections and was simply Jane Doe.

    • Yes, there are us mother’s who have been dealing with this exact issue in the Los Angeles Superior Court. The Los Angeles Superior Court at 111 North Hill Street is repeatedly “allegedly” selling kids for cash to the highest bidder. A judge was caught in NY and in TX TAKING BRIBES to throw custody cases to fathers. Yes, caught on camera. You can google the facts. Recently Fox 11 started a series about the courts. There are too many similar players, too many similar bizarre cases where fathers who are drug addicts and child abusers and criminals, but have money, getting custody of children from fit, loving, co-parenting moms, without any reason at all. Please let this case be a wake up call to the recent Saunders Report and how the Department of Justice issued a report Demanding Custody Reform. You can find the saunders report here This issue is simply part of an allegation that any bribed judge can use to alienate children from their mothers and give to the paying father, with NO evidence whatsoever! Routinely, the downtown LA courthouse is known for issuing court orders denying mothers access to their children for no valid reason at all, just like Dan Abrams said, he could find nothing wrong with Kelly Rutheford, not a nugget. Let the media dig up on these downtown cases and expose another 48-hours kids for cash scam like in PA, or like the judge in NY and TX who were found taking bribes. Bring light to this issue and save our children! Ask yourself why Commissioner Alan Friedenthal, recently admonished by the CJP for abusing litigants, is now sitting on the bench overseeing Domestic Violence cases? Ask yourself why Dr. Joseph Kenan, who was removed from the court after being discovered to be a raging drug addict and requesting cash to give favorable recommendations to litigants, is stil a practicing Child Psychologist and the over 250 cases he evaluated were never reviewed??!!

    • Yes thats right- and the biggest lesson of all- be careful who you have a child with, let alone two children with. Maybe get to know each other a bit first!!

  2. What a devastating scenario for this mother and her children. On the upside, she is fortunate to have the work and the financial means to be able to see her children sort of regularly.

  3. I cannot believe because of his Visa being revoked the moronic judge gave him custody in France. That judge should rot in hell. I understand that the kids should see both parents but Kelly is being punished because of a Visa issue. What a disgrace!

    • You do know that she caused his visa to be revoked by making false claims against his because she was trying to pull a Halle Berry by trying make sure he was not in his kids life.

      • She didn’t cause his visa to be revoked. He caused it by not having his papers in order. She just didn’t lie about the fact that they weren’t married anymore which was what he was relying on to stay in the states.

        • ^^ I believe this. And I’m sure he loves to blame her for it. Irresponsible people never take credit for their own demise. He is responsible for his own visa problems. Not her. They are no longer married.

          • Irresponsible people also blame judges on national TV when their case doesn’t go their way (even if they have been warned repeatedly to be more cooperative). And irresponsible people rather claim that their 5-years old child are brainwashed instead of realizing that a kid needs both his parents and it’s time to stop the BS

  4. I dont feel sorry for her. She deliberately ignored the rules given by the judge regarding visitation with their father. The judge felt she was disresecting his orders so he gave the father primary custody. Had she followed the rules she would still have her kids.. Especially since judges are beginning to be more sympathetic to fathers now. smh poor kids

  5. I do not feel sorry for her either. She is the one who was preventing them from having visitation with their father AND she is the one who reported him to the authorities out of spite and got him deported in the first place! And now she cries about not being able to see them? Karma. She is getting exactly what she deserves.

    • You don’t know that. She said in her television interview that she doesn’t know the reason why his visa was revoked. If she doesn’t know then how the heck do you know?

        • I don’t believe that. No action was taken against her for false claims. Obviously, the US government revoked his visa for their own reason and whatever that reason, it was his own doing. They are no longer married. His visa, his problem.

  6. Honestly she seems to be a honest person, I believe she has nothing against her ex husband, a part from taking away the children, which is absurd, because if they always lived with their mummy they need her, they can’t just be taken away. They are used to her, she’s the main parental figure in their life.
    We are just being the spectators of what’s gonna be another Tom Cruise-Nicole Kidman case: children taken away from their mommy and brainwashed to be against her. 🙁

    • “she seems to be a honest person” lol

      Kelly stated on the record that Daniel was dealing drugs and weapons in South America, which under the Victory Act is considered terrorism,” Allegations that turned out to be 100% false. “Just the accusation is enough to revoke his visa.” Papers show Rutherford is now required to make “good faith efforts” to facilitate his attempts to get his residence right reinstated.” 

      She thought that by destroying his ability to get a U.S. visa, she would ensure custody for herself. However the judge was on to her little activities and awarded custody to the father instead.

      She also repeatedly refused to put Daniel’s name on the birth certificate even after a court order. She didn’t tell him when she was giving birth to their daughter and tried to alienate her ex from their kids’ life.

      Would a “honest person” do all that not to mention she also divorced last husband after 6 months because he got sick with Cancer. That really shows what kind of a person she really is and her true charater.

      They both need to but the kids first.

      • I said “she seems to be an honest person” because I don’t know her in person and I didn’t want to be presumptuous, like other people here. What’s your problem with that?

        I think you’re assuming too much of their private lives. Who are you, her ex husbands’ lawyer? Because we just know what’s in the press, but we know nothing of what happened between them alone..
        Who are you to say that she left her husband because he had cancer. Her confessor?

        Everybody is free to have their opinion, but it seems to me that you think you’re omniscient.

        • Don’t worry Laura, It is only one individual that is controlling the negative comments about Kelly on this forum. And that person obviously has an agenda.

          • Thanks for your support, at least somebody is reasoning.. 🙂
            I don’t really get all these haters, especially in cases like this. It’s obvious that a mum would do anything for her kids, so whatever she did, she did it to protect them. She never gave an interview just talking bad about her husband, she just seems to be protective of her Children, who, by the way, are 5 and 3. How can you move so young kids away from their mum and from the place that has always been their home?

          • No it’s not. Just because people don’t agree with you, there is some conspiracy at play? You sound as well balanced as Ms. Rutherford.

          • Meghan, only a pathetic person would waste time repeatedly arrowing up and down the opposing opinion comments in order to validate their own point.

            I believe it is only one person doing it on this site and they have an agenda against Kelly.

            Unbalanced? Why? Because she will never stop fighting for her children? The real questions is why you’re so hellbent on her not succeeding.

          • You’re a so sure you’re right that you can’t believe that people can have different opinions than yours, aren’t you? Well, for what it is worth, I exist and I only post under my name.

  7. She brought this upon herself. From the first day of their break-up, she has done anything she could to cut the father from his children (who, contrary to what is said above, was the primary caretaker prior to the divorce). The judge saw her game and punished her. Good for him. Now she needs to grow up and show she is ready to co-parent the children with their father. I’m sure she loves her children very much, but as long as she is willing to fight an endless war with their father she is doing more wrong than good.

    • that is absolutely right and true, it’s disgusting how a judge could make a decision that so profoundly affects the children and surely causes them present and future emotional damage. the family court system in the United states is in dire need of a reform!!!

          • As a matter of fact, I am. His father is a dual citizen who, until recently, spent a significant portion of the year in Iraq. If Kelly thinks France is so damn terrifying, try the possibility of having your child living in the Middle East. Do some research before talking. There are your rubbish apples.

  8. The times Kelly prevented him from seeing the children was when she feared he would kidnap them and take them to another country. As a mom, I get that. If you were in this situation, and had reason to believe that your ex would run away with your children, what would you do? Protect them, whether it’s lawful or not.
    She appeared on the view as did abc’s legal correspondent who went through the arguments involving this case, It’s very interesting, you should watch it.

    • ( The times Kelly prevented him from seeing the children was when she feared he would kidnap them and take them to another country )

      1. She should have thought of that before make false claims against him so his visa would get revoked. Other wise he whould have staid in the US and she could have ask the courts to make so he was unable to leave the country with the kids.

      2. He most likely felt the same way that she would just would kidnap them and he would have any way of getting into the U.S. To stop it, and in away she did just that. If you were a father what would you do? Protect them, whether it’s lawful or not?

      You can’t say a mother fears are more important then a fathers.

  9. I love her claims that her son in brainwash becasue he like living in France more then NY. Lol

    When my parents divorce and my mom move to NY from CA and I like living in NY better dosent mean that my mom brainwash me; this woman is a joke with her claims of brainwash.

  10. Whether you believe Rutherford was wrong or not in her actions in this custody battle so far, this decision of a US judge to award residential custody of two American children (US citizens, born and raised here to date) in France – a country where neither of their parents are citizens or even legal residents, is absolutely absurd and in fact not enforceable. A US judge cannot enforce in France that two children who are not citizens or residents must reside there with an adult who is also not a citizen or resident of the country! This was not a decision in the best interests of the children. And it is not a decision that makes any legal sense.

    • If the father is german, then his residence in France is absolutely legal, as citizens from any of the European Union countries are allowed to live in any of them wihout any special visa. Being kids of a german parent, they also have german citizenship, which allows them also to live in any European Union country for as long as they want. I don’t know about the other issues, but regarding citizenship, her children are german as much as american (at least on the papers, their personnal feelings of belonging are a different matter, maybe much more important than what a passport says).

  11. Obviously there is one particular person on this forum that is against Kelly and anyone that defends her. Yes, I’m talking to YOU. How pathetic you are for obsessively red arrowing anyone that supports Kelly or the fact that her children are US freaking citizens. Absurd. And even more desperate is the fact that you obsessively green arrow your own pathetic personal agenda to bash Kelly.

    There are corrupt and incompetent judges in this country. That is a fact. Primary custody should have been awarded to the mother and native country with the stipulation she travels with children to France for visitation with their father. Not the other way around.

    • Who are you? Kelly lawyer or Kelly herself because you seem to be the one who is obsessively going after anyone that dosen’t supports Kelly.

      The only one here that is pathetic is you.

  12. This is hilarious. She’s pissed cause he got custody. He RAISED those kids basically by himself. That’s why he has custody. Kelly is a joke.

      • So, whoever has the most money gets the kids? Halle gets Nahla automatically because she has more money than Gabriel? What a horrific way to decide custody!

        • 1. This isn’t about Halle.

          2. I was referring to the comment made about Giersch supposedly “RAISED those kids basically by himself”. Kelly stated that she has been the sole provider for their children. If he was spending more time raising them than her (which I doubt) it was probably do to the fact that she was WORKING to support everyone.

          • So by your logic, if a man spends all his time working to support his family, he is entitled to custody of the kids if the family splits up?

  13. Despite what she may have done to “cause” this you dont revoke someones visa for being a non us citizen then take two us citizen children & essentially rip them from their mother and the only environment they have ever known and send them to another country! Not to mention he is from Germany not France and living with relatives. If the mother is unable to care for the kids then l can see him getting full custody. I guess there is no easy answer but hopefully a lesson learned on knowing someone before you lay down and have kids with them!

    • Gosh do people understand that in countries part of the European Union, wherever you are, you can live in a country part of the Union without any special visa. You can be French and live in Spain with no problem, a British living in German, etc. And if your parent is a citizen of a country, the children ‘are’ a citizen of the country, too.
      And it’s not like they went from living in New York to magically appearing in the Amazonian forest – France is not that different! And they are not with a stranger, it is their father! If he has the custody, it is obviously because he can take good care of the children. Also, from what I’ve read in the comments, the children know their father since he had custody of them before. So maybe the most traumatic thing for them will be to watch cartoons in French.
      I know nothing about this issue, but some people are making a big deal out of nothing.

  14. The father has been given custody. There is a reason for that. The judge obviously saw the father as the better parent. She just has the opportunity to go on TV and make herself look like a victim and him the big bad monster who stole the children. If she doesn’t have custody, it’s no one’s fault but her own.

    • Well, it’s not that easy.
      If anything, the children are very young and have always lived with her, don’t you think it’s inappropriate to suddenly take them away from their mother?

      • The children didn’t always lived with her. BOTH parents had joint custody since the beginning and BOTH parents STILL have joint custody.
        The only difference is that before the judgement the children were splitting their time between both their parents in the USA and now the same arrangement will take place in France. It’s of course a lot less convenient for KR, but since she brought this upon herself, I’m not sorry for her. The only thing that matters is that the children will be able to have relationship with BOTH their parents.

  15. There must have been a really good reason his visa was revoked. Shame on that judge to take small children away from a loving mother.

    Good luck to Kelly, hope things work out for her with the children.

  16. I have a question, and I am genuinely do not know the answer. So here goes – if the children were born here, obviously yes, they are American citizens. However, if he is a from another country – doesn’t that give them dual citizenship or something like that?

  17. maybe instead of bashing the father she should try and get along with him for the sake of the children. Maybe just maybe they would get along and be better parents instead of constantly back and forth issue.

  18. For the First Anon/Mother who posted on 9/13/2012 at 4:44pm…Thank you soooo much for posting the information. I live in Georgia…Gwinnett County. I am not suggesting that bribes took place, however, I lost primary custody of my 15 1/2 yr old son. His father is nearly $7,000 behind in child support, a two time drug felon, and was verbally and physically abusive to me for years. Due to the fact that my son is 15…he is allowed to decide where he wanted to live. He has been brainwashed severely which is parental alienation. Facts were brought to the attention of the judge. One simple yes from my son , and that’s really how she based it. It never crossed her mind to thoroughly consider the facts , as my attorney asked her to do.I’ve raised two other sons who are great citizens…great role models to their little brother, and my middle son on the Dean’s list at Georgia State University .They have never been in trouble with the law,anything or anyone! Awesome sons as I have always been told by family, friends, and strangers! So how does an ex-boyfriend, get custody of our son? He now has primary. My son gets to visit with me every other Thursday -Sunday evening. Guess what…I’ve seen him a total of 6 days since June 23,2012!!! Why is that? Because the judge pretty much gave my ex- boyfriend “legal” control. Atleast in his mind! So since this is severe parental alienation, my son is refusing to see me. It hurts. I’ve been married now for almost 4 years to a wonderful man, all of my sons love him. However, my youngest will never allow his father to know it. My son ignores my calls and texts. He only calls to tell me he’s not coming to visit. Right now, I’m waiting patiently…praying, and will pursue to see my son. I have every right to continue to see my son and continue to be a great parent to him. There’s not much help from the court system especially since my son is 15. One of the Superior Court Judge’s Secretary told me, that even if I filed a contempt, she hasn’t seen where the judge that she worked for would “force” my son to see me. Why not????? I have done nothing wrong. She even suggested that I take my son to counseling to see why our relationship is damaged and how to restore. Hello!!!…His father manipulated and brainwashed him. It’s a clear picture. I left…moved on with my life. He didn’t like it. Jealous, vindictive and extremely manipulative. He strategically planned this for years. He was behind in child support, waited until my son was 15 1/2…so he gets to decide. No more child support. He told so many lies in the court room that it was unbelievable. Not only that, he was VERY jealous of the bond that I shared with my sons. He hated it. I’ve NEVER interferred with their relationship. My son called him everyday…and it was fine. It does not , and should not take a rocket scientist to figure this out. It’s simple. The judge made a very poor decision to give my ex-boyfriend primary.She removed him from a healthy, loving stable environment.
    visit, & read “A Kidnapped Mind” By Pamela Richardson. I’ve known about the seriousness of Parental Alienation since 2006 when it hit me that my son was being programmed prior to my new relationship…then the manipulation intensified as time went on. And here I am today, typing you information. I hope it helps someone. For the other writer who mentioned , get to know someone a little better before you have a child with them. You are 100% correct. However, for some people, they thought they did know them. People are good at hiding behind who they really are. You cannot always know that someone is deceitful, or that down the road they will betray you. People try to be good judge of characters, sometimes,we miss it.

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