Actor Josh Lucas’ ex-wife Jessica Ciencin Henriquez writes about the real life of co-parenting and admits, ‘It Sucks’
In an age where the term ‘conscious uncoupling’ has been coined and become the new ‘way’ of divorcing its become harder to admit when it’s just not that easy. Mothers almost feel like they’ve failed when they can’t co-parent so seamless like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.
Jessica Ciencin Henriquez knows a thing or two about the topic. The mother of 5-year-old Noah Rev Maurer who she shares with ex-husband Josh Lucas has tried every method in the co-parenting spectrum. Every new age way including the most common, living separately to living together and then the most recent attempt bird-nesting.
Jessica and the heartthrob 46-year-old actor called it quits in October of 2014. Since splitting raising their son Noah alongside each other while no longer together has been a struggle for Jessica.
The mama of 5-year-old Noah wrote a short essay for Time magazine and got real about co-parenting to her readers.
She starts off by admitting, “So, here, we go, I’ll say the thing no one else wants to say: Co-parenting sucks."
She goes on to tell, “I could write the Kama Sutra on co-parenting. After five years, the conclusion I’ve come to is that there’s nothing natural about this. Successfully sharing the person who brings you the most joy with the person who brings you the most pain is nothing short of a miracle."
And from an excerpt from an Instagram post, Ciencin posted back in January she admits even when you’ve moved on divorcing with a child you never fully heal.
The video shows Jessica meeting Josh in the airport to hand over their son to Josh for his time with his son. Noah runs when he sees his father, a heartwarming moment but you can feel a sadness knowing the situation.
Click to watch Jessica Henriquez’s video below:
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This is hard for me to write so please save your judgment for another post, another time, another person. If there is anyone out there who is struggling with coparenting- I just want to say something to you that I’ve never really said out loud before. . . . This sucks sometimes. . I’m probably not supposed to say that because, ya know, conscious uncoupling and confessions in coparenting and all that. But I want to be real here because I get the feeling that someone else needs to hear it. . If I’m being honest, this whole shared custody situation is sometimes so painful. I hate being away from my son even for a second! I would (and have) put up with all the misery in the world if it meant I wouldn’t spend a minute away from him, if it meant I wouldn’t miss a moment of his little life. . Sometimes, I feel so much guilt and god, so much shame because I couldn’t just “suck it up", “stick it out," “make it work." But if anyone thinks getting divorced is “taking the easy way out" my guess is that person has never been divorced. . Divorcing with a kid is a different kind of heartbreak- one that never fully heals because you’re simultaneously looking into the face of your painful past and your uncertain future. And that face has your ex’s eyes and your lips and a growing awareness that something is different about your family. There’s still a hint of sadness even in the moments that feel so, so, happy. . Separate holidays and 3 days on and 3 days off is not what I signed up for when I decided to become a mother. …This broken family is not the family I wanted. . But it is the family I’ve got. . And I am so unbelievably grateful for it. …Even on the days when it’s hard.
“Divorcing with a kid is a different kind of heartbreak-one that never fully heals because you’re simultaneously looking into the face of your painful past and your uncertain future."
She goes on to say, “Separate holidays and 3 days on and 3 days off is not what I signed up for when I decided to become a mother…This broken family is not the family I wanted. But it’s the family I got."
Thank you, Jessica, for your honesty! We hope the best for you and your family.